Blog entry #2

Families in the US Chapter 26
This article describes the history of fathers in the US. During the eighteenth and early nineteenth century, fathers stayed close to their families, often working at a farm at home or close to home. This gave them the opportunity to be a fundamental part of their children’s lives. Perhaps their most important role was providing a moral guidance for their children, which wives’ couldn’t deliver because of their “emotional” behavior. This teaching of right and wrong was especially important to sons’. In the early nineteenth to mid-twentieth century, industrialization brought fathers out of the home. Mothers began to be responsible for the children, and for providing them with the moral and religious guidance fathers previously had. Although the father was still the ultimate authority, he had less direct influence and contact with his family then before. This absence of fathers was seen in all economic classes, but according to the Middletown study, business class mothers expressed more acceptance of the absentee father than working class families did (Pleck 355). From 1940-1965, fathers remained absentee, but became a “sex role model”- mothers were believed to have too much involvement in their children’s lives so their roles scaled back as well. World War II brought men out of the home to fight, and women out of the home to work. Sons were now looking to their fathers on how to act like their gender, and this influence worked on girls too, to see what not to do.
Today, the father remains the distant breadwinner figure. However, father’s influences are growing, in response to women working away from home more and the continued desire to be a “sex role model” for children. There is more desire from father’s now to be more present, even though the distant breadwinner role is most dominant. Issues in the workplace, such as maternity vs. paternity leaves, illustrate this tension. Although industrialization took men out of their homes and gave responsibility to women, men and women now fight against this tradition. The importance of a father figure is known, but often fathers can seem too busy with their breadwinner role to work on their parenting. The social structures within the workplace and government, as well as our media, continue to promote the role of father as breadwinner. Although there is a struggle against this notion, father’s still have their main role in the family outside of the home- economic support.

Unbending gender Introduction and Chapter 1
Like in the previous article, this article asserts that historically there are two parents- the absent economic provider and the busy caretaker of home and children. These roles have traditionally been for men and women, respectively. Men who work the longest hours are often seen as the best types of fathers, providing the most economic stability for their families. Although women’s pay rates are rising, mothers’, the author asserts, are not. This makes parenthood extremely difficult for the single mother. After divorce, men maintain the role of breadwinner, but often solely for themselves or a new family then, leaving women to provide economic support and parenting. Policies in the workplace only perpetuate the separate domestic and labor circles of men and women. The definition of a good worker and of a good mother, the author argues, make it so women have to choose between the two roles. For mothers to be ideal workers, these assumptions have to change. The author also stresses two important types of nontraditional families, the unmarried parents and gay parents.
Many women claim to make the “choice” to be at home with their children and give up jobs, but the low wages and public policy that doesn’t help their cases might have more of an effect on this choice then often discussed. In the article, one working mom explains that while she was as good of a worker as she good be, the constraints that she experienced as a working mom prevented her from performing many tasks at the office. The mothers have to compromise their time at work, because fathers usually either cannot or don’t want to. The mother also describes the guilt she would feel for being an absentee parent, and the importance of having at least one parent in the household. Fathers have always been seen as the ultimate source of authority, guidance, and force within the families, women too often being emotionally erratic and unable to provide their children with the stability they need. Men’s competitive nature also makes them more suited to the workplace, while at home mothers attempt equality. Fathers try to pass down their traits to sons, while sons constantly compete for fathers’ attention. This need for fathers to succeed at their jobs places stress on them and keeps them away from their families. Mothers in the workforce take the masculinity away from their husbands, especially if they were earning more than their husbands- but this rarely happens. And women who see themselves mainly as family caretakers want to make their husbands happy. The choice of motherhood is almost nonexistent- and the choice for fathers as breadwinners must follow from the mothers’ choice.

From Rods to Reasoning, Chapter 2
This author begins with asserting there is no primitive connection between a mother and her child- it is a construct within our society, just as all societies have constructed parenthood. The author begins with dealing with the notion of the “evil infant”, seen as reeking havoc on the peaceful household and demanding their mothers’ time. In the past, raising children was often, if the family can afford it, given out to other caretakers, until the child has reached an age where they can be of value to the family. For colonial families, the main goal was instructing and raising the child within the guidelines of the Puritan religion. The fathers were in charge of instructing both their wives and children how to act within the religious code. Children were rewarded through hard work, and started working with the family as soon as they were old enough. By the middle of the eighteenth century, motherhood started to develop into what it is today- the mothers desire to raise their children, nurturing them to grow while the father seldom provided orders. Since the father no longer provided moral guidance, the women and children retreated into the home to save themselves from the worlds’ evils. It became the mothers’ task to provide moral guidance as well as love and affection to her children within the home. During the nineteenth century, however, servants and other women working for families held a majority of the responsibility for raising children. While the mother stayed home and kept an air of comfort and safety within the home, they didn’t spend the majority of their time with their family. The women who cared for others’ children, however, were not able to spend the same time with their own family, so the working class children often grew up with both parents being absent. Toward the end of the nineteenth century, doctors and others started publishing work about how to raise a child, so that mothers could be trained and then take care of the child themselves. Similar to methods of teaching how to raise children today, these doctors published several studies based on their scientific findings after observing mothers and children. While reforms to family life were made during the nineteenth century, while they benefited middle class families, working class families had a difficult time keeping a family together. With child labor laws, families couldn’t send their children to work and the mother had to stay home as well, making the father the sole income provider. By the 1940s, with many husbands out of the house in the war effort, mothering once again became about love and affection, unlike when servants cared for the children. But this was a sensitive issue, especially because women didn’t want to smother their male children, who weren’t supposed to show the affection women did. After the war, most women returned home and families once again operated as always, the father and breadwinner out at work, mother and children at home.