The Division of Domestic Labor in Lesbigay Family
Many lesbian women express their concern that they do not do enough domestic work around the house. One of the lesbian couples interviewed expressed that they still take on certain gender roles, one being more gender neutral and another with a more feminine side. They also bring to the domestic realm certain things associated with the gender they take upon. As many wives of straight men express, a gay man also expressed the wish to be more appreciated for their domestic contributions to the household, and the reluctance their partners have towards doing domestic chores. Another man expressed that since he bought the house, he feels his partner should be responsible for upkeep. Roughly 25% of the homosexual couples interviewed were found to share the domestic tasks equally (Carrington). Of the middle and upper class couples interviewed, many outsourced and paid for domestic tasks. The domestic workers were mostly of a minority race and paid low rates (Carrington).
Many of the couples interviewed, both male and female, worked in traditionally female jobs. These jobs are more accommodating to family life. Also, the lack of children for many couples or few children allow for more time for oneself. However, still in homosexual couples 75% report that one partner is seen as responsible for the domestic duties (Carrington). Usually, this partner is the one with the lower paying job and less opportunity for economic advancement. One woman expressed her happiness after she left her 60 hour a week job for a true full time, 40 hour a week position, because she was able to work with her partner on domestic chores and had time to learn how to take care of a home and nurture a relationship.
Partners who forgo traditional careers to stay at home find other things to occupy their time with, especially because not many have children. One man interviewed used the skills he got from his career to volunteer instead, so he could have more time at home. Other times, partners do not make the choice to stay at home but simply do not have a chance for job advancement, and spend more time at home. Some people interviewed that they do feel discriminated against at their jobs because of their sexual orientation, especially the jobs at the more traditional, larger corporations.
Just like with heterosexual couples, the couples interviewed usually had to make compromises in the workplace to keep their home and domestic life alive. Also, some interviewed expressed the workplace as a sanctuary and place to relax, away from the demands of family life.
Doing Housework: Feeding and Family Life
This study was based on interviews of 30 urban families. Most women do not describe domestic work as the work they did in an office (Gerstel and Gross). Some describe doing domestic chores as love, while others describe it as obligatory. Especially for meal preparation, mothers see it as very important because meals are often the only time their whole family is together. Still, women must fit these meals around their husband and children’s schedules. Women also spend a large amount of time planning their mealtime, fitting the food to each individual’s preferences. Meals must also be healthy, since parents do not always see what their children eat at school. Food can also be a way of teaching culture and history to children.
Conversation is also important during meal times. Mothers try to get their children to discuss their days or things going on by dedicating this specific time to talk. This is also a time to learn manners and polite conversation, so that children are prepared to have meals in public. Not surprisingly, single mothers arrange less meals than married women do. Perhaps simply because they are not around during mealtime, or if they are they are too exhausted from their workday (Gerstel and Gross).
Many people do not view feeding as work. Since it is essential to life, there is no choice to do it or not. However, many mothers go above and beyond simply feeding their families at mealtime. Considering health, the family’s schedule, and preferences, are all things that go into planning a meal.
Autonomy, Dependence, or Display?
This study examines effects on women’s housework. The author argues that it is not how much their husband’s earn that influences women’s housework, but their own earnings. The economic exchange theory asserts that whichever partner earns less money makes up for this by spending more time on housework. However, the researcher proposes an alternate hypothesis, as described earlier. In terms of childcare, one previous researcher found the more women earn, the more likely they are to outsource childcare. Men’s earnings, however, do not have as much of an effect on domestic and childcare duties- this is the hypothesis the researcher proposes. The researcher looked at correlations between women’s hours working in the home and their earnings, as well as their partner’s. The research somewhat supported the hypothesis, that as women’s earnings increase, their time spent on domestic tasks decreases. Ironically, hours spent at work are not associated with time spent on domestic chores, for the husband nor wife. Since husband’s earnings have no impact on time spent at home, these findings might be in support of the economic exchange theory, high earning women do not feel the need to contribute as much a home. It could also mean that they can afford to outsource domestic duties.
Joey’s Problem
This chapter is about a 4-year old boy, Joey, and how his parents raise him and work full time jobs. The wife, Nancy, expresses her desire for a true egalitarian marriage, but that still takes work. Evan and Nancy’s marriage is also complicated because their son cannot fall asleep until about midnight, and Nancy has to take care of most of the bedtime activities. This is reflective of their life in general, because Joey is always expressing a preference for his mother. Evan, however, does not see this as a problem, playing the type of the strong and silent father. While Nancy works with Joey, Evan is busy doing his own thing downstairs, making it so that they have little time together at night after work without Joey.
Even though Nancy and Evan try to have an egalitarian marriage, it is far from it. The researcher found Nancy is responsible for 80% of housework and 90% of childcare (Hochschild). Even their son Joey echoed those sentiments, saying his mom does the housework. Nancy tried making schedules for household tasks, but Evan did not follow them. As Nancy tried to remind Evan, he got upset and did not do the tasks, and with Nancy refusing to do them as well, the household fell apart. Nancy does desire to do housework, but she also wants Evan to desire to help out as well, and both to appreciate each other for what they bring to their careers and their homes. Evan, however, did not understand why her choice to have a career meant he needed to be more domestically involved. Neither of them wanted to cut back to part-time work, even though Evan asked Nancy. When these problems became unbearable, Nancy succeeded and gave into being more domestically involved. They tried to split tasks half and half, but to no avail. Evan expressed his dislike for chores, and Nancy accepted them. Evan picked a few things to help out with around the house, as “token” second shift work, so he still felt he was contributing, which many men do (Hochschild). Nancy cited “fairness” as an important component to love and marriage, while Evan did not. Men often compare themselves to other husbands, thinking they do more than Husband X does, so their wives should be satisfied with their contributions. Men look around and decide on how much they domestic work they will do as according to others. This perpetuates the gender division within the home. Nancy, however, did not view this as fair, but gave up on the notion of fairness citing the existence of her marriage was more important. Both partners settled and compromised for their marriage, but Nancy did a lot more than Evan.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Blog entry #6
Overworked Individuals or Overworked Families?
Many of today’s jobs are able to be taken home- which makes parents spend even more time working, even if they are not at work. However, the author states there is a conflicting viewpoint that some people believe leisure time has increased recently. One common research method includes time-diaries, where people are asked to explain their days and how they spend their time. According to time diaries form the early 1960s, leisure time increased for many people. People are spending less time working, because they go to school longer and retire earlier, but perhaps they make up with that lost time by working more hours while they are actually in the workforce. Women in the workforce have drastically increased since the end of WWII. The reported hours of housework have declined, as more women are in the workforce.
Single parent households, usually run by women, face the most time constraints, followed by dual earning couples. The number of children most people have has also decreased, allowing parents to spend more time outside of the home because they have less to take care of. Dual earning families have increased from 35.9% to 59%, making dual worker families the majority (Jacobs and Gerson). Dual earner families were also the group that saw the biggest increase in hours worked per week. However, studies that we read last week reported that children care less about the quantity of time with their parents then the quality of the time. When parents are overworked though, the quantity of time goes down but sometimes the quality does as well since the parents are tired while at home from working such long hours. Education level has also led to longer workweeks, especially for women. The most worrisome statistics are those about dual earner families that work a combined 100 hours a week or more, as the proportion of these couples is rising. That accounts for an incredible amount of time spent away from the home, whether the parents are working at the same time or split shifts of who is working when.
The workplace is becoming more competitive, and mothers and fathers alike need to balance their work and family lives, but many jobs do not make this easy for them.
The Career Mystique
Companies place demands on their employees that are not conducive to having a family. Children are seen as a burden to a worker, so couples such as Lisa and David began to work even longer hours after the birth of their child to show their continued dedication to their jobs. These people define success as having it all- happy marriage, children, and a successful career. This differs greatly from the 1950s perfect family, which was a career successful man and a supportive and loving wife at home. Women began to express unhappiness with this ideal, however, and more women looked for fulfillment outside of the home. This was the thought behind Betty Friedan’s book, “The Feminine Mystique”. This gave a voice to women unfulfilled with a life completely locked in the house.
The division of who is more valued in the family reinforces the gender division, men’s superiority and value triumphs over women. Working men bring home a paycheck, while women’s work is usually unnoticed. Careers and children can be compatible, but many companies make it hard and while parents need the money and benefits a career provides to be a good parent, they then lose out on spending time with the family they work so hard to support. Women spend less and less time at home when their children are first born, as Lisa did, because of the concern that their employer will punish them for time spent outside of the home. Longer life spans means many people will eventually need to care for their parents, as well as their children and possibly grandchildren or extended kin. The classic question arises though- is it better to work so you can afford getting them care from others, or is it better to sacrifice your career to be with them?
Retirement begins much earlier now and is often encouraged by the time people are in their 50s, making it even more important for people to make money while they have their full-time jobs. Also, the rising cost of college, and graduate school for many as well, often leaves people in debt when they first enter the workforce. In the 1980s and 1990s, companies began to understand the importance of helping their employees find a balance of work and family. Usually these work-family problems are faced by women, because men are still usually seen as the breadwinners and women are more likely to make sacrifices in the workplace in order to keep their family happy.
The Time Bind- Chapters 14 and 15
The desire of spending more time with family is an opinion often cited by many working parents. However, they are often not able to spend less time working because of the financial needs of their family. Parents with the highest incomes are usually those that have their children in daycare the most, suggesting that high paying jobs are those that demand extraordinary amounts of time from their employees. 89% of employees reported they feel they suffer form a time famine- and also that this effects time with their family. Some parents also reported feelings of guilt for not spending enough time with their families. Surprisingly, some workers said they feel more at home and appreciated in the workplace then in their actual home. Only 51% stated feeling most relaxed in their home. Many parents go home stressed after a day of work and spend their time at home worrying about their responsibilities. Often upper and middle class answer feeling more relaxed at work than home, and those with less desirable jobs see the home as where they are happiest. In the middle of this spectrum lie those who are not relaxed at their home or work. Corporations, such as Amerco, try to make their employees feel at home- offering casual dress days and company-sponsored social events to make their employees more relaxed and willing to spend large portions of time away from their family. These companies encourage their workers to dedicate themselves to their company the same way they would dedicate themselves to their families. Divorce and remarriage also make people seek relaxing environments outside of the house. Some stepparents cite resentment and anger expressed by the stepchildren, so they find solace at work.
Many parents try to fight the time bind by allocating certain hours that is time with the children and time with their spouse when they are at home. This way they can know that they will be with all of their family at some point during the day. However, it is also important for entire family to spend time together, and for children to see their parents together. Shorter mealtimes illustrate how pressed employees are for time. While at work, they often eat while still doing work. At home, quick meals are the preference, because people have no time to cook. Fewer families have mealtime together now, and that results in a lot less time spent together as a family. The children of these overworked parents express anger when their parents are not able to commit time to them. Also, some children are too young to understand that the parents need to have specific times set up to be with their children, and the children want to be on a different schedule. Parents often resort to buying affection from their children- they want to show them their love, but do not have the time to instead try to make up for their lack of presence with gifts. This guilt of spending less time with families also showed itself when Amerco employees were asked how often they leave children home alone- many more men answered yes than women, perhaps because women feel guilty admitting they leave their children home alone. One mother expressed hopes that this leads her child to be more independent, but also worried that it makes them feel lonely. This mother admits she could afford after-school care for her child, but she is 10 years old and the mother believes she should be able to be on her own at that age. There are many publications helping both children and parents feel more comfortable and safe by leaving children home alone, these stress safety and household rules of how to spend time alone. Many parents worry their kids will watch too much TV or neglect obligations if they are not around to remind them, yet knowing to do these tasks themselves is the independence parents want their kids to learn. For those parents who choose day care or after school programs, they expect the programs to make their lives easier. Many daycare centers make hot dinners for children to bring home, while others provide athletics and other activities for the children to travel to. Most parents interviewed did experience this “time bind” even though there are several options for childcare, some parents just do not feel they do enough for their children.
Maternal Employment and Time with Children
The author states that the most dramatic change in families in the past century has been the number of women entering the workforce, followed by the number of divorced and single parent households. However, some sociologists believe that the lack of maternal presence leads to antisocial behavior, as how learned in the previous article, these children often are left home alone after or before schooldays. However, before the entrance of women into the workplace there is no way to know how much time they were spending with their children. Even without a job, many mothers still spent time away from home during the days. The migration of women to the workplace also put more responsibility on the fathers, and generally, fathers today are more active in their children’s’ lives then before. The smaller families of today also allow parents to spend more time with their children individually, instead of always having to care for many children at once. As noted before, nonemployed mothers do not necessarily spend more time with their children. A study found that most of the time nonemployed mothers spent with their children was not directly interacting with the children, rather doing other household chores such as cooking or cleaning. However, in general, number of hours performing housework has decreased for both working and nonworking mothers, but it is unknown if this time is spent interacting with their children or doing personal activities. Mothers also balance work and family by taking time off when children are first born, and when they do return to the labor force, not working as many hours as they previously had.
A large number of both employed and unemployed parents have entering children into a preschool or educational program as earlier as age three, a jump from 10% of children in the 1950s were in these programs while now 50% are. This way parents know their children are getting social interactions with other children while an adult is still present. Employed and unemployed mothers struggle to find a balance for raising their children, even with the large options of childcare available parents express a desire for more time with their children.
Many of today’s jobs are able to be taken home- which makes parents spend even more time working, even if they are not at work. However, the author states there is a conflicting viewpoint that some people believe leisure time has increased recently. One common research method includes time-diaries, where people are asked to explain their days and how they spend their time. According to time diaries form the early 1960s, leisure time increased for many people. People are spending less time working, because they go to school longer and retire earlier, but perhaps they make up with that lost time by working more hours while they are actually in the workforce. Women in the workforce have drastically increased since the end of WWII. The reported hours of housework have declined, as more women are in the workforce.
Single parent households, usually run by women, face the most time constraints, followed by dual earning couples. The number of children most people have has also decreased, allowing parents to spend more time outside of the home because they have less to take care of. Dual earning families have increased from 35.9% to 59%, making dual worker families the majority (Jacobs and Gerson). Dual earner families were also the group that saw the biggest increase in hours worked per week. However, studies that we read last week reported that children care less about the quantity of time with their parents then the quality of the time. When parents are overworked though, the quantity of time goes down but sometimes the quality does as well since the parents are tired while at home from working such long hours. Education level has also led to longer workweeks, especially for women. The most worrisome statistics are those about dual earner families that work a combined 100 hours a week or more, as the proportion of these couples is rising. That accounts for an incredible amount of time spent away from the home, whether the parents are working at the same time or split shifts of who is working when.
The workplace is becoming more competitive, and mothers and fathers alike need to balance their work and family lives, but many jobs do not make this easy for them.
The Career Mystique
Companies place demands on their employees that are not conducive to having a family. Children are seen as a burden to a worker, so couples such as Lisa and David began to work even longer hours after the birth of their child to show their continued dedication to their jobs. These people define success as having it all- happy marriage, children, and a successful career. This differs greatly from the 1950s perfect family, which was a career successful man and a supportive and loving wife at home. Women began to express unhappiness with this ideal, however, and more women looked for fulfillment outside of the home. This was the thought behind Betty Friedan’s book, “The Feminine Mystique”. This gave a voice to women unfulfilled with a life completely locked in the house.
The division of who is more valued in the family reinforces the gender division, men’s superiority and value triumphs over women. Working men bring home a paycheck, while women’s work is usually unnoticed. Careers and children can be compatible, but many companies make it hard and while parents need the money and benefits a career provides to be a good parent, they then lose out on spending time with the family they work so hard to support. Women spend less and less time at home when their children are first born, as Lisa did, because of the concern that their employer will punish them for time spent outside of the home. Longer life spans means many people will eventually need to care for their parents, as well as their children and possibly grandchildren or extended kin. The classic question arises though- is it better to work so you can afford getting them care from others, or is it better to sacrifice your career to be with them?
Retirement begins much earlier now and is often encouraged by the time people are in their 50s, making it even more important for people to make money while they have their full-time jobs. Also, the rising cost of college, and graduate school for many as well, often leaves people in debt when they first enter the workforce. In the 1980s and 1990s, companies began to understand the importance of helping their employees find a balance of work and family. Usually these work-family problems are faced by women, because men are still usually seen as the breadwinners and women are more likely to make sacrifices in the workplace in order to keep their family happy.
The Time Bind- Chapters 14 and 15
The desire of spending more time with family is an opinion often cited by many working parents. However, they are often not able to spend less time working because of the financial needs of their family. Parents with the highest incomes are usually those that have their children in daycare the most, suggesting that high paying jobs are those that demand extraordinary amounts of time from their employees. 89% of employees reported they feel they suffer form a time famine- and also that this effects time with their family. Some parents also reported feelings of guilt for not spending enough time with their families. Surprisingly, some workers said they feel more at home and appreciated in the workplace then in their actual home. Only 51% stated feeling most relaxed in their home. Many parents go home stressed after a day of work and spend their time at home worrying about their responsibilities. Often upper and middle class answer feeling more relaxed at work than home, and those with less desirable jobs see the home as where they are happiest. In the middle of this spectrum lie those who are not relaxed at their home or work. Corporations, such as Amerco, try to make their employees feel at home- offering casual dress days and company-sponsored social events to make their employees more relaxed and willing to spend large portions of time away from their family. These companies encourage their workers to dedicate themselves to their company the same way they would dedicate themselves to their families. Divorce and remarriage also make people seek relaxing environments outside of the house. Some stepparents cite resentment and anger expressed by the stepchildren, so they find solace at work.
Many parents try to fight the time bind by allocating certain hours that is time with the children and time with their spouse when they are at home. This way they can know that they will be with all of their family at some point during the day. However, it is also important for entire family to spend time together, and for children to see their parents together. Shorter mealtimes illustrate how pressed employees are for time. While at work, they often eat while still doing work. At home, quick meals are the preference, because people have no time to cook. Fewer families have mealtime together now, and that results in a lot less time spent together as a family. The children of these overworked parents express anger when their parents are not able to commit time to them. Also, some children are too young to understand that the parents need to have specific times set up to be with their children, and the children want to be on a different schedule. Parents often resort to buying affection from their children- they want to show them their love, but do not have the time to instead try to make up for their lack of presence with gifts. This guilt of spending less time with families also showed itself when Amerco employees were asked how often they leave children home alone- many more men answered yes than women, perhaps because women feel guilty admitting they leave their children home alone. One mother expressed hopes that this leads her child to be more independent, but also worried that it makes them feel lonely. This mother admits she could afford after-school care for her child, but she is 10 years old and the mother believes she should be able to be on her own at that age. There are many publications helping both children and parents feel more comfortable and safe by leaving children home alone, these stress safety and household rules of how to spend time alone. Many parents worry their kids will watch too much TV or neglect obligations if they are not around to remind them, yet knowing to do these tasks themselves is the independence parents want their kids to learn. For those parents who choose day care or after school programs, they expect the programs to make their lives easier. Many daycare centers make hot dinners for children to bring home, while others provide athletics and other activities for the children to travel to. Most parents interviewed did experience this “time bind” even though there are several options for childcare, some parents just do not feel they do enough for their children.
Maternal Employment and Time with Children
The author states that the most dramatic change in families in the past century has been the number of women entering the workforce, followed by the number of divorced and single parent households. However, some sociologists believe that the lack of maternal presence leads to antisocial behavior, as how learned in the previous article, these children often are left home alone after or before schooldays. However, before the entrance of women into the workplace there is no way to know how much time they were spending with their children. Even without a job, many mothers still spent time away from home during the days. The migration of women to the workplace also put more responsibility on the fathers, and generally, fathers today are more active in their children’s’ lives then before. The smaller families of today also allow parents to spend more time with their children individually, instead of always having to care for many children at once. As noted before, nonemployed mothers do not necessarily spend more time with their children. A study found that most of the time nonemployed mothers spent with their children was not directly interacting with the children, rather doing other household chores such as cooking or cleaning. However, in general, number of hours performing housework has decreased for both working and nonworking mothers, but it is unknown if this time is spent interacting with their children or doing personal activities. Mothers also balance work and family by taking time off when children are first born, and when they do return to the labor force, not working as many hours as they previously had.
A large number of both employed and unemployed parents have entering children into a preschool or educational program as earlier as age three, a jump from 10% of children in the 1950s were in these programs while now 50% are. This way parents know their children are getting social interactions with other children while an adult is still present. Employed and unemployed mothers struggle to find a balance for raising their children, even with the large options of childcare available parents express a desire for more time with their children.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Blog entry #5
Children’s Share in Household Tasks
Similar to adult life when women are responsible for most of the household tasks, girls usually participate more in household tasks than their brothers do. Girls are taught roles within the home, as well as prepared for entering the workforce and higher education in school. Boys, however, do not get any teaching in domestic tasks, and are only prepared to enter the workforce. However, with the increased importance placed on schoolwork and preparation for higher education, children spend less time on schoolwork. Most parents place little stress on preparing their children to be in the workforce, and do not view chores are a necessity. In rural areas, children share more in household tasks than in urban areas. This is often because in rural homes, there is more land and bigger homes to be responsible for. The study reveals that children only participate in certain household tasks, but in some tasks such as “… washing the dishes and for cleaning the house… [children] are taking more than a quarter of the responsibility for these tasks (and more than their fathers do)” (Goldscheider et. al 811). As children grow older, they participate less in household tasks, explaining that they and their parents want them to focus on their studies. When children are older, one role they take on, if needed, is taking care of younger siblings. Teenage years are often when boys begin to participate less in household tasks, and girls begin to participate much more. Thus, in the teenage years is when the sex roles begin to develop and there is a sharp distinction between the two genders.
Female-run, single parent, households have substantially less financial income, because the women are responsible for both the paid and unpaid work. Because of this, children are often needed more within the household. It is unknown, however, if boys or girls pickup more of these extra tasks within the household. We assume that both boys and girls work within the household. Research suggests that in single-parent households, parents and their children have more of a partnership because of this share in household tasks (Goldscheider et. al 815). Teenage boys often participate in the typically male tasks, such as yard work and maintenance, but in single-parent households they often pickup other tasks as well. Adult girls take on an incredible amount of work in single parent households, and this and the role of males suggests single-parent households are much different than married households.
Next the author investigates stepparent families. Families with biological mothers and stepfather see children doing an increased amount of housework than in traditional families, perhaps because children were used to doing increased amounts of work from when their mother was single. Stepdaughters often do increased amount of work than the boys in the family.
How to Succeed in Childhood
The author asserts that in her book, she found substantial evidence that ways of parenting is not responsible for differences among children (Harris). Throughout history, ways of child rearing have changed but children themselves have not changed drastically. Children often imitate their parents, but that is not how parents want their children to act. Parents want their children to act like children. Harris cities two main goals for children- getting along with their parents and siblings, and getting along with other members of society, most importantly, in their own generation. Children also need to learn how to separate their relationships with different types of people, which will help them understand how to act appropriately in different relationships. Children are able to separate relationships and places, and often act very different when at a different place or with different people. Humans have always functioned in groups, beginning with hunter-gatherer societies. Now, however, humans interact with many more different groups than before, and need to learn how to act appropriately within each group. The problem with groups is that when one group meets another they often react with hostility. “The mere division into two groups tends to make each group see the other as different from itself in an unfavorable way, and that makes its members want to be different from the other group” (Harrison). This is not to say, however, that there are not differences within groups, people want to be individuals within the groups they belong to. From this, Harrison concludes that this is often why teenagers and young adults rebel- they want to be different from the adult group. Harrison asserts that the most influential group is the peer group, not the parents. Children learn culture and behaviors through their peer group, not parents.
From Work-Family Balance to Work-Family Interaction
Almost all parents in dual-earning families somewhat or strongly agree that mothers who work can have just as good of a relationship with their children as mothers at home can, but fewer men agreed with this statement than women did. The researcher gave children a questionnaire to “grade” their parents’ parenting skills, and found no difference between the grades of families with working mothers versus non working mothers, as well as between mothers that work full time versus part time (Galinsky 222). The important factor is not how often the child is mothered, but instead how well they are mothered when their mother is around. Half of employed parents agree to the statement “It is much better for everyone involved if the man earns the money and the woman takes care of the home and children” (Galinsky 224). This concludes that a father’s employment is extremely important to the family, more so than the mother’s possible employment. However, fathers also agree that children would do well if they were the main caregivers, not the mothers. Once again, similar to the importance of the mother, the factor is not if the father works or not, it is how well he fathers when he is in the child’s life. When researching childcare providers other than the parents, the researcher found that children do not find these people as parent replacements, rather as extended family. However, that is only true if the childcare provided is of good quality. The above three conclusions of the importance of mothers, fathers, and other caregivers lead to the conclusion that the quality of the time spent with a child is as important as the quantity. While many parents feel stressed for time in today’s society, it is important for them to know that factor.
Similar to adult life when women are responsible for most of the household tasks, girls usually participate more in household tasks than their brothers do. Girls are taught roles within the home, as well as prepared for entering the workforce and higher education in school. Boys, however, do not get any teaching in domestic tasks, and are only prepared to enter the workforce. However, with the increased importance placed on schoolwork and preparation for higher education, children spend less time on schoolwork. Most parents place little stress on preparing their children to be in the workforce, and do not view chores are a necessity. In rural areas, children share more in household tasks than in urban areas. This is often because in rural homes, there is more land and bigger homes to be responsible for. The study reveals that children only participate in certain household tasks, but in some tasks such as “… washing the dishes and for cleaning the house… [children] are taking more than a quarter of the responsibility for these tasks (and more than their fathers do)” (Goldscheider et. al 811). As children grow older, they participate less in household tasks, explaining that they and their parents want them to focus on their studies. When children are older, one role they take on, if needed, is taking care of younger siblings. Teenage years are often when boys begin to participate less in household tasks, and girls begin to participate much more. Thus, in the teenage years is when the sex roles begin to develop and there is a sharp distinction between the two genders.
Female-run, single parent, households have substantially less financial income, because the women are responsible for both the paid and unpaid work. Because of this, children are often needed more within the household. It is unknown, however, if boys or girls pickup more of these extra tasks within the household. We assume that both boys and girls work within the household. Research suggests that in single-parent households, parents and their children have more of a partnership because of this share in household tasks (Goldscheider et. al 815). Teenage boys often participate in the typically male tasks, such as yard work and maintenance, but in single-parent households they often pickup other tasks as well. Adult girls take on an incredible amount of work in single parent households, and this and the role of males suggests single-parent households are much different than married households.
Next the author investigates stepparent families. Families with biological mothers and stepfather see children doing an increased amount of housework than in traditional families, perhaps because children were used to doing increased amounts of work from when their mother was single. Stepdaughters often do increased amount of work than the boys in the family.
How to Succeed in Childhood
The author asserts that in her book, she found substantial evidence that ways of parenting is not responsible for differences among children (Harris). Throughout history, ways of child rearing have changed but children themselves have not changed drastically. Children often imitate their parents, but that is not how parents want their children to act. Parents want their children to act like children. Harris cities two main goals for children- getting along with their parents and siblings, and getting along with other members of society, most importantly, in their own generation. Children also need to learn how to separate their relationships with different types of people, which will help them understand how to act appropriately in different relationships. Children are able to separate relationships and places, and often act very different when at a different place or with different people. Humans have always functioned in groups, beginning with hunter-gatherer societies. Now, however, humans interact with many more different groups than before, and need to learn how to act appropriately within each group. The problem with groups is that when one group meets another they often react with hostility. “The mere division into two groups tends to make each group see the other as different from itself in an unfavorable way, and that makes its members want to be different from the other group” (Harrison). This is not to say, however, that there are not differences within groups, people want to be individuals within the groups they belong to. From this, Harrison concludes that this is often why teenagers and young adults rebel- they want to be different from the adult group. Harrison asserts that the most influential group is the peer group, not the parents. Children learn culture and behaviors through their peer group, not parents.
From Work-Family Balance to Work-Family Interaction
Almost all parents in dual-earning families somewhat or strongly agree that mothers who work can have just as good of a relationship with their children as mothers at home can, but fewer men agreed with this statement than women did. The researcher gave children a questionnaire to “grade” their parents’ parenting skills, and found no difference between the grades of families with working mothers versus non working mothers, as well as between mothers that work full time versus part time (Galinsky 222). The important factor is not how often the child is mothered, but instead how well they are mothered when their mother is around. Half of employed parents agree to the statement “It is much better for everyone involved if the man earns the money and the woman takes care of the home and children” (Galinsky 224). This concludes that a father’s employment is extremely important to the family, more so than the mother’s possible employment. However, fathers also agree that children would do well if they were the main caregivers, not the mothers. Once again, similar to the importance of the mother, the factor is not if the father works or not, it is how well he fathers when he is in the child’s life. When researching childcare providers other than the parents, the researcher found that children do not find these people as parent replacements, rather as extended family. However, that is only true if the childcare provided is of good quality. The above three conclusions of the importance of mothers, fathers, and other caregivers lead to the conclusion that the quality of the time spent with a child is as important as the quantity. While many parents feel stressed for time in today’s society, it is important for them to know that factor.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Blog entry #4
Lost Fathers
Black women are often seen as the strong, independent heads of households. This is female headed household is the historical arrangement within Black families. The number of single-mother households in White families, however, has also been growing in the past 40 years. However, in Black families, the single mothers are looked down at, and the fathers are distant or nonexistent figures. In the United States, the family is seen as the base of morality and children are seen as a representation of their family, so the degenerative conditions of Black families can be blamed for the problems within communities.
Historically, Black men have had little role in their children’s lives. During slavery fathers were barely present, White slave owners had more influence on the children then their own fathers did. Fathers often worked away from the home, while mothers had more time to spend with their children. Presently, Black men are still not thought of as appropriate role models for their children. In the media Black men are portrayed as gangsters and thugs, living in a world of drugs and violence. Women are only sexual objects and families and children are nonexistent. Black fathers are looked down on by all of American society and deemed unfit parents. Black men’s joblessness is another reason women act as heads of house, and those who are able to get a job often are out of the home working long hours and under paying jobs, so are still absent from the family. Also, a disproportional number of Black fathers end up in jail, promoting the stereotypes the media perpetuate. Federal laws are often tougher on Black men, especially when crimes involve drugs, and post-imprisonment it is nearly impossible for them to find employment (Roberts 150).
The absent Black father provides a model for the good father as well. This also makes Black mothers seen as the breadwinners and the single parent, so they often spend time out of the home. Never married or divorced parents receive significantly less welfare than widowed parents, which puts many single-mother families below the poverty line. Black mothers and extended family raise children within a community setting, making it financially and socially easier to raise children.
The fact that many Black men are not able to financially support their family is the biggest factor that makes them a failure as a father. Black fathers are not able to be breadwinners. Lately, the government has been changing welfare policies that took fathers out of the home and trying to let them spend more time within the household if they are married- however single Black mothers are penalized under these welfare laws. Child support cannot be collected from unemployed or imprisoned fathers; so single mothers often cannot collect it. This system of welfare does not help single mothers become financially independent; instead it forces them into marriage. The institutional systems within our government do not currently allow for flourishing Black families.
Having it All: The Mother and Mr. Mom
Blue-collar fathers are becoming more important within their children’s lives. Especially when parents alternate work shifts, fathers are often at home with their children alone for a large portion of the day, especially if their children are too young for school. These fathers not only take care of some of the childrearing, they also perform other domestic duties throughout the household. Alternating shifts are also a good way to save money of childcare; they can save daycare, nanny, and afterschool program money by splitting the childcare responsibilities. The parents interviewed also state their fears of letting others care for their children, and express happiness and comfort that they are able to be home to keep their children home and safe. Parents are also able to raise their children according to their own values and morals by avoiding using daycare. Working alternating shifts and sharing childcare responsibilities, while letting children spend more time with their parents, prevents husbands and wives from spending time together. They often only share time late at night, after both working and taking care of children all day. The fathers interviewed express their willingness to do “women’s work” in the home, because it makes their wives and children happy and keeps the family together. These men significantly value the work their wives do, especially once they themselves do the work their wives do at home. Even in alternating shift families, the ideal vision of the male breadwinner persists. Women still see their work as secondary to the family’s needs, and men’s first responsibility is their wage-earning job. Both partners in alternating shift families express gratitude to get fulfillment outside of the home and in their workplace. By having responsibilities at work and at home, people feel more fulfilled and happy to return to their families. Women interviewed, however, express fewer fulfillment from their wage-earning jobs than their male counterparts do. The women are happier with their roles at the home, but understand they need to supplement it with a wage earning. Women are still seen as the main parent and the emotional and moral source of the family. Gender roles and domestic ideals are still traditional, even in these alternating shift families. However, these ideologies are slowly shifting to more equal roles. Women are becoming more equal with their husbands as they earn a salary and also as the men begin to understand the hard work they do within the home.
Black women are often seen as the strong, independent heads of households. This is female headed household is the historical arrangement within Black families. The number of single-mother households in White families, however, has also been growing in the past 40 years. However, in Black families, the single mothers are looked down at, and the fathers are distant or nonexistent figures. In the United States, the family is seen as the base of morality and children are seen as a representation of their family, so the degenerative conditions of Black families can be blamed for the problems within communities.
Historically, Black men have had little role in their children’s lives. During slavery fathers were barely present, White slave owners had more influence on the children then their own fathers did. Fathers often worked away from the home, while mothers had more time to spend with their children. Presently, Black men are still not thought of as appropriate role models for their children. In the media Black men are portrayed as gangsters and thugs, living in a world of drugs and violence. Women are only sexual objects and families and children are nonexistent. Black fathers are looked down on by all of American society and deemed unfit parents. Black men’s joblessness is another reason women act as heads of house, and those who are able to get a job often are out of the home working long hours and under paying jobs, so are still absent from the family. Also, a disproportional number of Black fathers end up in jail, promoting the stereotypes the media perpetuate. Federal laws are often tougher on Black men, especially when crimes involve drugs, and post-imprisonment it is nearly impossible for them to find employment (Roberts 150).
The absent Black father provides a model for the good father as well. This also makes Black mothers seen as the breadwinners and the single parent, so they often spend time out of the home. Never married or divorced parents receive significantly less welfare than widowed parents, which puts many single-mother families below the poverty line. Black mothers and extended family raise children within a community setting, making it financially and socially easier to raise children.
The fact that many Black men are not able to financially support their family is the biggest factor that makes them a failure as a father. Black fathers are not able to be breadwinners. Lately, the government has been changing welfare policies that took fathers out of the home and trying to let them spend more time within the household if they are married- however single Black mothers are penalized under these welfare laws. Child support cannot be collected from unemployed or imprisoned fathers; so single mothers often cannot collect it. This system of welfare does not help single mothers become financially independent; instead it forces them into marriage. The institutional systems within our government do not currently allow for flourishing Black families.
Having it All: The Mother and Mr. Mom
Blue-collar fathers are becoming more important within their children’s lives. Especially when parents alternate work shifts, fathers are often at home with their children alone for a large portion of the day, especially if their children are too young for school. These fathers not only take care of some of the childrearing, they also perform other domestic duties throughout the household. Alternating shifts are also a good way to save money of childcare; they can save daycare, nanny, and afterschool program money by splitting the childcare responsibilities. The parents interviewed also state their fears of letting others care for their children, and express happiness and comfort that they are able to be home to keep their children home and safe. Parents are also able to raise their children according to their own values and morals by avoiding using daycare. Working alternating shifts and sharing childcare responsibilities, while letting children spend more time with their parents, prevents husbands and wives from spending time together. They often only share time late at night, after both working and taking care of children all day. The fathers interviewed express their willingness to do “women’s work” in the home, because it makes their wives and children happy and keeps the family together. These men significantly value the work their wives do, especially once they themselves do the work their wives do at home. Even in alternating shift families, the ideal vision of the male breadwinner persists. Women still see their work as secondary to the family’s needs, and men’s first responsibility is their wage-earning job. Both partners in alternating shift families express gratitude to get fulfillment outside of the home and in their workplace. By having responsibilities at work and at home, people feel more fulfilled and happy to return to their families. Women interviewed, however, express fewer fulfillment from their wage-earning jobs than their male counterparts do. The women are happier with their roles at the home, but understand they need to supplement it with a wage earning. Women are still seen as the main parent and the emotional and moral source of the family. Gender roles and domestic ideals are still traditional, even in these alternating shift families. However, these ideologies are slowly shifting to more equal roles. Women are becoming more equal with their husbands as they earn a salary and also as the men begin to understand the hard work they do within the home.
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