Blog entry #4

Lost Fathers
Black women are often seen as the strong, independent heads of households. This is female headed household is the historical arrangement within Black families. The number of single-mother households in White families, however, has also been growing in the past 40 years. However, in Black families, the single mothers are looked down at, and the fathers are distant or nonexistent figures. In the United States, the family is seen as the base of morality and children are seen as a representation of their family, so the degenerative conditions of Black families can be blamed for the problems within communities.
Historically, Black men have had little role in their children’s lives. During slavery fathers were barely present, White slave owners had more influence on the children then their own fathers did. Fathers often worked away from the home, while mothers had more time to spend with their children. Presently, Black men are still not thought of as appropriate role models for their children. In the media Black men are portrayed as gangsters and thugs, living in a world of drugs and violence. Women are only sexual objects and families and children are nonexistent. Black fathers are looked down on by all of American society and deemed unfit parents. Black men’s joblessness is another reason women act as heads of house, and those who are able to get a job often are out of the home working long hours and under paying jobs, so are still absent from the family. Also, a disproportional number of Black fathers end up in jail, promoting the stereotypes the media perpetuate. Federal laws are often tougher on Black men, especially when crimes involve drugs, and post-imprisonment it is nearly impossible for them to find employment (Roberts 150).
The absent Black father provides a model for the good father as well. This also makes Black mothers seen as the breadwinners and the single parent, so they often spend time out of the home. Never married or divorced parents receive significantly less welfare than widowed parents, which puts many single-mother families below the poverty line. Black mothers and extended family raise children within a community setting, making it financially and socially easier to raise children.
The fact that many Black men are not able to financially support their family is the biggest factor that makes them a failure as a father. Black fathers are not able to be breadwinners. Lately, the government has been changing welfare policies that took fathers out of the home and trying to let them spend more time within the household if they are married- however single Black mothers are penalized under these welfare laws. Child support cannot be collected from unemployed or imprisoned fathers; so single mothers often cannot collect it. This system of welfare does not help single mothers become financially independent; instead it forces them into marriage. The institutional systems within our government do not currently allow for flourishing Black families.

Having it All: The Mother and Mr. Mom
Blue-collar fathers are becoming more important within their children’s lives. Especially when parents alternate work shifts, fathers are often at home with their children alone for a large portion of the day, especially if their children are too young for school. These fathers not only take care of some of the childrearing, they also perform other domestic duties throughout the household. Alternating shifts are also a good way to save money of childcare; they can save daycare, nanny, and afterschool program money by splitting the childcare responsibilities. The parents interviewed also state their fears of letting others care for their children, and express happiness and comfort that they are able to be home to keep their children home and safe. Parents are also able to raise their children according to their own values and morals by avoiding using daycare. Working alternating shifts and sharing childcare responsibilities, while letting children spend more time with their parents, prevents husbands and wives from spending time together. They often only share time late at night, after both working and taking care of children all day. The fathers interviewed express their willingness to do “women’s work” in the home, because it makes their wives and children happy and keeps the family together. These men significantly value the work their wives do, especially once they themselves do the work their wives do at home. Even in alternating shift families, the ideal vision of the male breadwinner persists. Women still see their work as secondary to the family’s needs, and men’s first responsibility is their wage-earning job. Both partners in alternating shift families express gratitude to get fulfillment outside of the home and in their workplace. By having responsibilities at work and at home, people feel more fulfilled and happy to return to their families. Women interviewed, however, express fewer fulfillment from their wage-earning jobs than their male counterparts do. The women are happier with their roles at the home, but understand they need to supplement it with a wage earning. Women are still seen as the main parent and the emotional and moral source of the family. Gender roles and domestic ideals are still traditional, even in these alternating shift families. However, these ideologies are slowly shifting to more equal roles. Women are becoming more equal with their husbands as they earn a salary and also as the men begin to understand the hard work they do within the home.